Why I needed to Knit

My husband is a gifted musician, jazz keyboards. I am going to get permission to put an MP3 on the blog of his work. We've been married three years and our second third anniversary is approaching in May, long story. My honey is a blind dude, it's not at all a disability, he is a very capable and well educated despite adversity. If blindness were the only issue, I wouldn't be knitting. He also has epilepsy, of the intractable form. Last year in search of better treatments that would allow for a more normal life for us both, he went off his very successful Vagus Nerve Stimulator to prepare to enter a study that places recording/treating electrodes at the sites of the seizure generating cells in the brain. To know where precisely to place the electrodes, they do a Deep Brain Mapping, placing recording electrodes on the brain and then weaning him off all meds to cause seizures to localize where in the brain the seizures occur. He did have the seizures, it should his brain had several areas of focus and he didn't qualify for the study. We also learned that he has osteoporosis, very severe, at the age of 31 his bones have the same density as someone who is 125. We found this out tragically, when he was having the seizures for the brain mapping. He broke both his hips and right shoulder. We also found out he had compression fractures in his mid and low spine. Due to the extreme deterioration of this bones the only choice was to replace them all, so a week later he had all three joints replaced as he recovered from having the electrodes removed from his brain. Rough week. We spent a total of 40 days in the hospital, I never left his side, sleeping in a recliner and making sure his needs were met. We've been home six months, the recover is slow. His seizures and blindness both impact the speed of his therapy and ability to move forward.

His osteoporosis is caused by a number of factors, seizure meds, being blind, not spending enough time outside getting vitamin D, low testosterone. We have talked to a number of groups urging awareness of osteoporosis in those who took seizure meds as children to prevent tragedies such as my husbands.

My friend was right, knitting the same horrific repetive stuff I hated as a child has become a wonderous therapy. I knit to meditate. I knit to empty my mind of all my worries. I knit to have something to do when J needs someone to stay close but needs the quiet calm. I knit to feel a sense of accomplishment when his therapy is progressing so slowly it doesn't seem to be getting better. I knit to stop figgitting when I can't sit still. I knit to have something to do when he is sleeping. I knit to learn new things. I knit for chairities to contribute to others when I can't leave the house. I knit to enjoy watching a chaotic ball of yarn become stripes of jewel tones on a glove. I knit colorful socks for my husband to wear on stage when he is ready to gig again. I knit sweaters for our service dog, so she can stay warm. As a young caregiver sandwiched between caring for my husband and my elderly parents, I have sought out local resources to help me cope. Finding none, I did find that local knitters are very cool. Joining in a class or stitch and bitch gives me an outlet of normality. Reading knitters blogs makes me feel apart of the community when I cannot leave the house. I knit therefore I still am. Besides, it's fun, YEP Grandma, ya hear me up there, you were right, it's fun!